Death is Only the Beginning
by Lilly McFadden
Summary: Naraku has been defeated, the jewel completed, and the well has permanently sealed Inuyasha in the past and Kagome in the present. How does Kagome deal with her separation from Inuyasha? HKI New Chap: K&H find a new ally. M for language & mature content
1. Proloque

**Chapter 1: Death is Just the Beginning**

Authors Note: This story has a character driven plot. This is my take on what happens at the end of the manga and how Kagome will deal with the cards that fate has laid out for her. There are mild spoilers, but no major ones and only ones from the beginning of the manga.

Summary: Naraku is defeated, the jewel has been completed, and the well has permanently sealed Inuyasha in the past and Kagome in present. How does Kagome deal with her separation from Inuyasha? How does this separation affect the course that her life takes in modern Japan?

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, the well, or even my own heart. Inuyasha and the well are products of Rumiko Takahashi's fertile imagination. My heart belongs to my spouse.

Dedication: I am dedicating this story to Resmiranda, whose story, _Tales From the House of the Moon_, has enriched my life with her brilliant depictions of Kagome and Sesshomaru and their struggles as they deal with their bereavement.

Sigmund Freud on Grief: "We find a place for what we lose. Although we know that after such a loss the acute stage of mourning will subside, we also know that we shall remain inconsolable and will never find a substitute. No matter what may fill the gap, even if it be filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else." E.L. Freud _Letters of Sigmund Freud_

_Present day – 13 years after she first fell into the well_

_One day, there was a miko who fell through a well into an enchanted land. In the enchanted land she met a prince and fell in love. But the love was ill-fated, for no sooner than the words of love had passed the prince's mouth, the miko was banished from the enchanted land and returned to her home alone, never to see the prince again._

'Damn,' Kagome thought as she read Dr. Miyo Sato's _Collection of Rare Fairy-Tales of the Sengoku Jidai_, 'I am _not_ going to cry in the middle of the library. I've cried three times already today, and I _refuse_ to cry again.' But seeing both the happiest and saddest moments of her life reduced to a trite fairy-tale of no more than three sentences angered her. The casual reader might feel a slight pang of sadness upon reading this, but they would feel nothing of the rapturous joy that his confession of love had brought her or the numbing confusion and despair that accompanied her abrupt and unexpected separation from him.

Kagome was currently indulging in her weekly ritual of torture. At the end of the work week, after finishing her shift at Toyko Hospital as a pediatrician, she allowed herself the dubious pleasure of digging through mountains of information at the public library about the Sengoku Jidai period, looking for any mention of Sango, Miroku, Shippo, herself or him, especially _him_. She almost always thought of Inuyasha as _him_ now. Just the mention of his name still had the power to bring tears to eyes. The abrupt manner of their parting ten years ago in her life and 500 year ago in the past had left a gaping hole in her heart, and she had given up trying to fill it. Or at least that's what she told herself. The truth was that she hadn't really given up, only she was trying to fill the hole with _him_, little pieces of him left behind in fairy-tales and folk-lore of Sengoku Jidai period. Maybe if she found enough pieces, she might, almost, maybe, possibly feel whole again. And maybe she would sprout wings and fly. She knew that it wouldn't really work, in fact couldn't work, but it was all that she had left of him. Every reference, every story was like drops of water on her parched heart, not enough to revive it from its withered state, but enough to tease and make her thirsty for more.

And she fully intended to continue her search for those golden drops of _him _that were like manna to her heart, as long as her mother and Souta didn't find out. If they knew what she was doing, they would worry, and she had worried them both enough to last several lifetimes. She had seen the lines of worry and stress etched into mother's face, and her brother Souta had been forced to leave his childhood behind too early – and it was all her fault. When she was still able to travel through the well, she had tried to play down the dangers she had faced to keep her mother from worrying, but she knew her mother had worried anyway. Her mom had been aware of the dangers, though by silent agreement neither broached the subject when she would return home for her exams or to get more supplies. It wasn't until the long after the well had closed that she became fully aware of the effect her time travel had had on her mother. But that stress was nothing compared to the worry and anxiety the family had faced the first year after her sudden and permanent return to the modern world.

_10 years ago – Modern era_

The first month after the well had closed, Kagome had remained optimistic. After all, she loved Inuyasha, and he had finally admitted that he loved her. That meant they were _supposed_ to be together. Brought together across time to meet, fall in love, and save the world. Surely, they had earned their happily-ever-after ending. Surely the fates were not so cruel. Surely she _deserved_ to be with the hanyou she loved more than life itself, and any other possible outcome had been completely unthinkable. She would try the well two or three times each day, once on the way to school, once when she arrived home before studying. Sometimes, late at night when she could not sleep, she would creep through the darkness to try the well again. She was always thinking, _Just one more time and the well will work_. Each time, she would use her miko powers to try to make the well respond, force the magic catch and carry her back to the arms of her hanyou. But it never worked. Sometimes she thought if she just wished hard enough or dug deep enough into the moist soil of the well, it would answer the sincerity of her desire and open up for her. But the strength of her need and the strength of her powers proved useless against the seal of the well. The well had remained silent and closed.

By the second month, panic had started to edge its way into her consciousness. She tried to remain optimistic, but more often than not, it was despair and tears that greeted her at night than hope for the new day. She begged her family, and they brought priests and mikos from across Japan to examine the well. The well had been chanted over so often that the combined voices of their chants seemed to echo hollowly from its depth long after the priests had left. Sutras covered the aged wood, making the well resemble more of an origami experiment gone bad than a portal to another time and another life. But none of the chants, the sutras or her tears – of course, "crying never accomplished anything" - had worked. The well had remained stubbornly closed.

Up to this point, she had harbored the hope that Inuyasha might be able to come for her, if not from the well, then through the passage of time. But his failure to make an appearance convinced her of two things that struck horror and pain into the deepest part of her heart. First, he could no longer reach through the well and was stuck in his time just as she was stuck in hers. Second, he was no longer alive in modern Tokyo. Somewhere, sometime in the last 500 years, he had died. No other force on this earth could have kept him from her. This second revelation she had long suspected was true even before the well was closed. After all, he could not exist in two places in this era each time he came through the well to drag her back to fulfill her duty as his shard-detector and, more importantly, as his companion. For that same reason, she knew there was no reincarnation of him in modern Tokyo or modern anywhere. His soul could not exist in two places any more than his body could.

By the third month, desperation led her to raid her grandfather's collection of ancient texts. She stopped going to school and spent all of her waking hours searching for how to reopen the well. She refused to stop even for meals and would only eat if food were brought to her. After exhausting her grandfather's collection, she went from shrine to shrine, searching for her answer. Finally, she found herself searching through the public libraries. At this point, she knew it was all but hopeless. If the shrines did not contain the information she sought, the chances were far less that the library would. But that slight, almost impossible possibility kept her searching. For, if she were ever to see Inuyasha again, she _had _to reopen the portal in the well. And the thought of never seeing him, never touching him, never sitting him again was unbearable. It was far worse than spending hours of every day bent over obscure, dusty tombs. Far worse than hunger or fatigue or the ache of her own body. Far worse than even the thought of her own death. Because life without Inuyasha was death.

A month and a half into her frantic research, her family confronted her. In no uncertain terms, they had told her that she could not continue as she had been. She was hurting her health and, as she looked into the careworn faces of her family, she realized she was hurting them too. Suddenly, she was awash in shame. She had been so focused on returning to Inuyasha that she had forgotten her family was suffering along with her. Inuyasha would not have wanted them to suffer, any more than he would have wanted her to make herself sick by exhausting herself each day as she searched for a way back to him. Nevermind that concerns over his own health would never have stopped him from doing the same. She could hear his chastisement echoing in her mind already. But even as she inwardly cringed at the thought of his rebuke, she desperately wished he had been here to deliver it in person. What she would not give to hear him call her 'wench' just one more time. At this point, she would even be glad to hear him mistakenly call her 'Kikyo'.

So, Kagome reluctantly agreed to return to school, with the provision that she would be allowed to continue her search for a way back to the hanyou to whom she had given her heart. She found it entirely ironic and painful that the heart she left 500 years in the past still insisted on beating in her chest.

So with a heart that insisted on beating, Kagome returned to school to find that her mind insisted on learning even if the information did not bring her any closer to opening the well. So with her mind stuffed with useless information – at least from her point of view – she would return the library every evening to continue her search. Sometimes she felt like her brain was overflowing, and that if she tried to cram any more information into it, all of it would begin to pour over the edge of her skull and be lost. But mostly, she felt like she was in between – in between hope and despair, in between trying her best and giving up, in between intellectually knowing that she could not return and accepting it. And so she continued her search. And slowly, the knowledge that she had been avoiding crept into her mind, gathered on the fringes, and waited for a weak moment to enter.

That moment came on the six month anniversary of the portal closing. She had read that people who lost loved ones could open portals through time with their heart's blood. Less than an hour later, she found herself at the bottom of the well, her ankle sprained, and blood slowly seeping out from a slash she had given herself across one of her wrist. All she could think was that the passage she had read had sounded so promising, she could not fathom why it had not worked. And then she had burst into tears.

That was how Souta had found her thirty minutes later. He had crawled down the ladder to carry her back up the well. As he reached down to pick her up, he noticed the slash across her wrist. He hadn't said anything, just pressed a handkerchief across her wound to stop the bleeding and pressed his lips together to stop the words. Kagome knew Souta was thinking she was suicidal, but she was so miserable at the moment that she couldn't bring herself to correct him.

So she had clung tightly to his shoulders as he lifted her onto his back to carry her out of the well. All the way up the well, through the courtyard and into the house, she continued to sob onto his shoulder. Her mother had taken one look at Kagome before telling Souta to carry her upstairs to the bathroom. Mrs. Higurashi had bathed her and bandaged her wounds before tucking her into bed. Silently, her mother had stroked her hair and back until she fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning Kagome could not find the will to get up. On the heels of that revelation came the knowledge that she had lost her appetite as well. Food tasted like chalk to her, and she could barely stand to eat. Thoughts of her worried family forced a few bites of each meal down her throat before she would send them away, almost, but not quite untouched. She could tell that they were all afraid she was suicidal. They thought now that her apparent attempt to bleed to death at the bottom of the well had failed, she was trying to starve to death instead. But nothing could be further than the truth. She wanted to live, because as long as she was alive now, part of Inuyasha was too. Only, she could not quite find the strength to get up yet. She knew that one day she would, but that day was not the today. And that day was not the next day, or the next day, or the many days that followed, slowly flowing into months. Because she knew that the day she got up and faced the world again, would be the day she would have to face a world without Inuyasha in it. And she just couldn't do that yet.

Ironically, it was for Inuyasha that she finally left bed one morning, went downstairs, and calmly told her mother that she was ready to start living again. And her first task in this new world of the living was to eat a healthy breakfast, followed by a week of slowly recovering her strength before returning to school.

The next week she returned to school with a new determination – she never wanted anyone else to suffer the excruciating pain of an untimely separation that she and Inuyasha had. If she could save others from that pain, then maybe her own pain would not seem so meaningless simply because others were able to benefit from it. And so she studied, and ate right, and slept well – all so that she could graduate, get into college and eventually follow a career in medicine. Because in this era, it wasn't warriors who held back death, but doctors.

_Present Day Tokyo, at the library_

Kagome closed the book and surreptitiously wiped her eyes. She knew the librarians already thought she was eccentric in her reading habits. She didn't want them to think she was mentally unhinged as well, crying over children's fairy-tales and stories from ancient folk-lore.

Wearily, she returned the book to the stacks and headed home. Tonight's visit had been worth it. She had found a passage about _him_ – and even better, it was about the two of them together. It was one more piece of him she could use to fill the hole in her heart that his presence used to occupy. But like any heart operation, it hurt as it healed.


	2. Part 1: Witness Protection

**Part I: Witness Protection**

_**Chapter 1: Old Friends**_

A/N: This story is divided into two parts. The first chapter was the prologue. This is the beginning of Part I, where the action begins. Their will be some surprises and plot twists along the way. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed writing them!

Thanks to by beta reader, Foxy Lady! You're the best!

Special thanks to my reviewers!

**DB-Explorer** Thank you for being my first reviewer! I'll leave it up to you to decide if Kagome is having a break down. It's all part of the experience. As for Inuyasha's career, well, we'll just have to wait and see if and why he's six feet below ground level.

**lizziekiss **Thank you for the kind review. I plan on posting many new chapters over the course of the summer. I hope you enjoy them.

_Modern Era, Present Time_

Late Tuesday evening Kagome returned to the shrine from work. The week had gone well until today. Every time that she nursed a patient back from the doorway to the afterlife, she felt triumphant. Each patient she cured was a victory over the death and separation that had parted her from _him_…Inuyasha. While her attempts to triumph over their own separation had failed, she still gained a measure of solace in the knowledge that while all partings were inevitable, they didn't have to happen _now_. She could push back the parting for her patients.

However, she had failed to push back the parting for her latest patient. Her six-year old patient had quietly slipped away in her sleep last night at the hospital. The loss hit Kagome like a blow. Her failures brought home her own failure to keep _him _with her. As she entered the courtyard, she felt the pull of the well. On days when she lost a patient, the temptation to try the well one more time was almost overwhelming. She normally tried to resist, but today she headed straight for the door of the well house and stepped inside. The sutras from ten years ago were yellowing and rotting, lending the well the grisly appearance of a gaping maw with crooked, rotten teeth. She was almost afraid to jump today, afraid that the well would swallow up what was left of her after losing Inuyasha. _Inuyasha_…longing, keen and sharp, propelled her to the mouth of the well and over its edge.

She came back to reality with a jarring halt as she reached the bottom of the well, landing on her hands and knees. She rested her cheek against the cold wall of the well as hot tears tracked mascara-muddied trails down her face.

/\/\/\/\

Later that night, Kagome stood in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection. Sometimes it scared her to see how much she looked like Kikyo. The aura of sorrow and loss that defined Kikyo during their brief association now clung to her. Would _he _even recognize her now if he saw her? Or would he think that Kikyo had traveled through time and stolen her life? Maybe Kikyo had. Or maybe she hadn't, but it didn't make a difference. Blurrily, she scrubbed her face and headed to bed.

After turning off her bedroom lights, Kagome sat on her bed and reclined against the wall, angling her body so that she could stare into the inky darkness outside her window towards the Goshinboku tree. Her failed attempt to leap through the abyss of time earlier that night had resulted in a successful plunge into the abyss of misery that was the permanent home for her heart. Her heart might leave misery behind for a while, just a person can leave their home, but her heart's return to misery was guaranteed as much as a person's return to home. And like a home, misery would wrap itself around her heart and offer her the cold comfort of the familiar.

Sighing, she crawled up onto her knees to check her window, ensuring that the latch was open and the window slightly ajar. Just as she has always left the window open for him, she has also left her life open for him. His lack of presence in her life didn't stop her from carving out a space in her life uniquely crafted for him. For so many years, she had defined herself through him. Kagome, the girl who loves Inuyasha. Kagome, the reincarnated, but not quite as good miko that fights at Inuyasha's side. Kagome, the girl who lost Inuyasha. And now she's Kagome, the woman who can't forget him. Her heart was a loyal colony of Inuyasha's - subject to his rule, but forever bereft of his presence. Her clothes were a visible manifestation of his claim. She always wore white, a signal for her friends, families and possible suitors that she was grieving his loss and did not intend to marry. In a society which valued conformity, this action would usually have led to censure and social isolation. But Kagome was saved from that fate by her family's reputation as the keepers of the shrine. Her eccentricity was seen not to stem from any desire to thumb her nose at society, but from the excess of her spirituality.

It was that misconception that made the rest of her nonconformist behaviors more easily accepted by her neighbors as well. Unlike most young ladies of her age, she had never moved into an apartment of her own, preferring to stay at the location he would associate the most with her. Any thoughts of getting her own apartment ended as soon as she thought of him bursting through the well and finding that she had moved. The bittersweet bonus was that the shrine was also the place that held the most memories of him. Living here, where if she was tired enough or imaginative enough she could almost feel him with her, allowed her the comfort of still defining herself as part of _his _world. Once again, her neighbors attributed her actions to her surfeit of spirituality. She always felt slightly ashamed of the unintended deception she had perpetuated on her neighbors, but the truth of why she stayed here was so personal and so painful that she didn't correct them.

Their perception of her spiritual abilities, when coupled with her medical knowledge, had the natural consequence of her earning a reputation as a spiritual healer. Unfortunately, aside from a few isolated incidents, she had never shown any spiritual healing capabilities. Fortunately for the people who sought her as a spiritual healer, her medical training more than equipped her to deal with their ailments. She had always considered their expectations of her spiritual abilities to be a burden, but she found a reason to thank Kami for their superstitions that night when a young boy was brought to her house. It was the night that would change her life forever and send her careening on a collision course with destiny.

/\/\/\/\

Kagome was trying to sleep while thoughts of her lost patient and her lost friends floated through her mind like ghostly apparitions, so very clear and precious in her mind but so equally impossible to reach. A knock sounded on the door. Groaning, Kagome rolled over and buried deeper into her covers. Less than a minute later, Kagome heard the steps of her mom coming up the stairs and the door to her bedroom thrown open. Kagome's protest at the intrusion died as she turned and saw her mother. The tension around her mother's mouth and the tense set to her mother's shoulders told her all she needed to know. A patient was downstairs who needed immediate attention. Not the usual scrapes and bruises, but something much more serious. Kagome drew on her robe and grabbed her medical bag as she rushed out of her room and down the stairs.

As Kagome reached the end of the stairs, she paused briefly to survey the room. She was momentarily stunned to see Hojo kneeling next to a body on the couch. Approaching the body, she realized that the body was that of a young boy who looked to be no more than five. He was unconscious and covered with scrapes and lacerations. One particularly deep laceration was located at the junction of his neck and shoulder, as if someone had been aiming for his neck and missed. Kagome shivered. It had been a close call. A centimeter higher and the blow would have been fatal. The beginnings of twin bruises around his eyes told her that he had been hit hard on his head from behind. Kagome seethed at the thought of the abuse the young child had suffered. Whoever had attacked him had been brutal.

Kneeling next to the young man, Kagome reached for his arm to check his pulse. As soon as she touched him, her powers spiked, a pink aura surrounding her. Working quickly, she searched for any demonic traces in his aura. Finding none, she decided that a more thorough examination of his aura would have to wait until his physical condition was stabilized. The shallowness of his breaths and the fast tempo of his pulse worried her. To prevent any further blood loss, Kagome decided to treat his shoulder wound first. She began by cutting off his shirt and carefully peeling it away from his wounds where the congealed blood acted like a glue, binding the shirt to his torso. Studying the injuries on his torso, she noticed that all his wounds were new. The lack of old scars and bruises told her that he was not habitually abused in this manner. She let out a sigh of relief, then thanked Kami he wasn't awake as she started to clean his injuries. At least he would be spared that pain.

Once she completed stitching the wound on his shoulder, she removed his pajama pants and examined him for other wounds, treating the more minor lacerations and scrapes with antibiotic ointment and bandaging them. Once she was finished, she rechecked his vitals. While his breathing was still too shallow, his pulse had dropped to a more normal level. Her patient stabilized, she turned to Hojo to get some answers.

Only, she found herself at a loss as to where to start. What did you say to Mr. Too Perfectly Nice from high school, who you had dated briefly in an attempt to get over the loss of your soul mate, when he's standing in your living room ten years later with blood smears on his police uniform and a look on his face you never in your wildest dreams thought would ever grace his face? The last time she had seen Hojo was at their high school graduation. He was slightly taller and older than she remembered him. The years had been kind to him, his boyish cuteness had matured and morphed into the handsomeness of a man. In addition, his stance and the slant of his eyes conveyed a sense of confidence and watchfulness that had been absent in his younger years. In a small way, it reminded her of Inuyasha. But mostly, it reminded her that she would give anything to have _him_ here instead of Hojo. Kagome from ten years ago would have quickly squashed that uncharitable thought. But now she just acknowledged the truth of her thoughts as she buried the hurt deep inside her, safe and sound where Mr. Nice couldn't find it and try to remove it. Ironically, it was Mr. Nice who solved her original problem of where to start the conversation.

"Higurashi-san, how is he?" Hojo nodded towards the young child.

"He's stable now. Let's call an ambulance so that he can be taken to the nearest hospital." Kagome was shocked by the next thing he said.

"We can't take him to the hospital. It would be too dangerous." Kagome's eyes widened at his words.

"It might be too dangerous not to take him! His head injury could be causing permanent brain damage as we speak. Unless we get him to a hospital, there is no way to know the extent of the damage or how to best minimize it."

"Higurashi-san, if we take him to hospital, there's a good chance that he won't make it out alive. Have you heard of the Nihonshinsei?"

Kagome had heard of Nihonshinsei on the news. If they were involved, then the young boy really was in trouble. "Isn't that a yakuza?"

"Yes, their goal is to establish what they call 'The True Japan'. Complete economic and social isolation from the rest of the world. They believe that the Japanese race is superior to all others, and that the influence of other cultures pollutes the minds of the Japanese people. They have been implicated in several instances of what they term 'ethnic cleansing'. My partner and I have been tracking their attacks in an effort to apprehend the perpetrators. We are part of a larger task force at the police department assigned to combat the Nihonshinsei."

Kagome's face drained of color as she gazed down at the young boy and his _red_ hair. She knew what Hojo would say next, and the knowledge of it was making her nauseated.

Waving towards the boy, Hojo continued, "This is Shikyo Tamahashi. His mother is a Japanese national, but his father was American. His family ran an import company that specialized in American and European furniture. We believe they were targeted by the Nihonshinsei because of their mixed marriage as well as their import business which the Nihonshinsei would see as polluting our culture."

"Oh, no! Don't tell me…his parents?!" Kagome cried.

"Were both dead by the time I arrived. I was able to save Shikyo, but he was already unconscious when I found him. The two assassins escaped before I could apprehend them. It was obvious that Shikyo had attempted to protect his parents. Most likely, he witnessed both of their deaths. They know that he's wounded, the hospital will be the first place they look."

"You had mentioned that the perpetrators had escaped. Did you know who they were? Will you be able to catch them?"

"We don't know who they are specifically, but we do know them by their modus operandum. The two assassins that attacked his family always work as a team. One, nicknamed 'The Butcher', is a brutal killer. He likes to torture his victims before he kills them. The other is nicknamed 'The Shadow'. We are not sure what his exact part in the assassinations is, but we believe that he is present at every assassination performed by The Butcher. Shikyo is the first person to survive an assassination attempt by these two. That makes him the only living witness that can identify the assassins."

"Then Shikyo is in very real danger! What can I do to help?!" Kagome asked. Kagome didn't add that she suspected that The Shadow might be some type of demon. She didn't want Hojo to think that she was crazy. Something was definitely wrong with Shikyo's aura, and she needed more time to find out what it was and how to fix it.

"Higurashi-san, I don't want you involved. These are professional, cold-blooded killers we are talking about. And, what they do to you before they kill you is even worse. It's not unusual for them to rape the wife or daughter in front of their husband of father before killing them. Shikyo will be fine. We'll place him in protective custody. But, I don't want you anywhere near this!"

"But I'm already involved!" Kagome protested. She stood up to look Hojo square in the eyes. "What if they find out that Shikyo was here? My whole family could be in trouble. Also, Shikyo's condition is serious. If you want him to come out of this alive, he'll need medical attention. And you said yourself they'll be checking the hospitals."

Hojo's voice was firm when he answered. "Higurashi-san, it's too dangerous for you to stay with Shikyo! The safest thing for you and your family to do would be to leave town for a few weeks."

_Wow_, Kagome thought, _who would have ever believed Hojo could be as stubborn as Inuyasha._ But Kagome could be equally stubborn. "Fine, send my family out of town, but let me go with Shikyo! You need your witness to be alive, I can keep him alive. His wounds could get infected without proper care. I can give him that care." Kagome punctuated each sentence of her fiery protest by poking Hojo in his surprisingly solid chest.

Kagome was startled out of her tirade as he gently cupped her hand in his own, flattening her palm against his chest. Five seconds ago Kagome would have sworn she was too old to blush. But the vermilion hues suffusing her cheeks would have revealed those words as a lie. She could feel his heart beating strongly underneath her palm. Looking up, she blushed deeper at the look in Hojo's eyes. Oh, how she had missed that look, that tender, protective look. But it was the wrong eyes that held it, and the wrong hand that held hers. Shame and longing pierced her. Pulling her hand away, Kagome stepped back and dropped her gaze to the carpet.

"Higurashi-san," Hojo's voice was soft and deep, creating a feeling of intimacy despite the distance separating them. "Be ready to leave in two hours. Tell you family they should be prepared to leave by that time as well. I'll be back in two hours with my partner. He will leave with your family, and Shikyo and you will come with me."

Stunned by his sudden change of mind, Kagome looked up to see him walking out the door.

Kagome spent the first hour packing for Souta, then for herself as her mother packed hers and Ji-chan's bags.

Ji-chan had been grumpy about the disturbance to his normal routine, loudly proclaiming that he would stay at the shrine and guard it. Her mother put a stop to his foolishness by pointing out that it was much more important for him to travel with them and help guard Souta and herself.

Souta had looked at it as a grand adventure. He had always envied Kagome and her ventures to the past. Now, he saw this as his chance to have his own. After all the excitement was over, he could complete his college degree and settle into the family business without any regrets.

Finished with Souta's packing, Kagome opened her closet door and set about choosing which outfits to pack. While her room was decorated in rosy shades of pink and yellow, her closet looked like it belonged in a mental institute. A sea of white dresses, white skirts, white shoes, and even white pajamas and white bath robes greeted her. She was glad that she hadn't given in to her friends' demands to purchase some more colorful clothes. The look in Hojo's eyes earlier worried her. Her clothing would serve as a reminder to him of her intent to not marry, not date, not snuggle or even not hold hands. She wished that a certain hanyou in a red haori would be serving as her stop sign instead of her wardrobe.

Her packing completed, she dug into her closet to find one last item. She paused as her eyes settled on the worn and tattered yellow backpack sitting at the back of her closet. Kagome fingered the fabric with her right hand. Pulling it out of the closet, she brought it over to her bed. Sitting down on her comforter, she cradled the backpack in her lap. Running her hands over the straps where _his _hands had once held it, she contemplated opening it. She hadn't opened it since the day she had returned over ten years ago. She imagined if she opened it, she would still smell the fresh air of the Sengoku Jidai. Sighing, she rolled over on her bed and hugged it to her chest.

Looking out the window, she gazed towards the Goshinboku tree. She saw a flash of silver in the moonlight. Startled, she jumped up from her bed and threw open the window. With hope and her heart pounding furiously in her chest, she tentatively called out, "Inuyasha?" The quiet humming of katydids was the only answer she received. She called out again, more strongly, "Inuyasha?" She was _sure_ she had seen that glimpse of silver. So she gave up caution and yelled, "Inuyasha! If you here, please come back! Inuyasha!"

She continued calling until her mother and Souta burst into her room with twin looks of concern written on both of their faces. "Mom," she started, "I _saw _him! I am sure it was him."

"Kagome, don't," Mrs. Higurashi said. It had been six years since her daughter had last thought she had seen Inuyasha. For several years after her daughter's separation from Inuyasha, she'd woken up to hear Kagome calling his name as her daughter leaned out her bedroom window or searched the shrine's grounds. She was worried that the traumatic events from the evening had caused another episode. She often thought that Kagome was hallucinating, her subconscious desire to see Inuyasha producing ghostly manifestations of his image while her daughter hung between sleep and wakefulness. But this time was different. Her daughter had seen him while she was fully awake.

_Oh, no!_, Kagome thought. _I'm doing it again_. Her mom looked like she was about to cry, and Souta looked both scared and protective. Their obvious alarm acted like a bucket of cold water on Kagome's burning hope that she would actually find Inuyasha on the premises or even in _her_ time. Maybe her mind _was _playing tricks on her.

Souta quietly exited the room as her mother sat down on the bed next to her. Her mom reached up and brushed her bangs out of her eyes, before enveloping her with a hug. Sinking into her mom's embrace, she let the tears she had been holding back spill over her eyelids and pour over her cheeks. "I know, sweetheart" her mother whispered, her voice choked with emotion, "I still miss your father too." Kagome and her mother continued to hold each other, sharing their comfort and sharing their pain.

/\/\/\/\

A good cry and a pep talk later, Kagome headed downstairs with her luggage to check on her patient. His breathing and heart rate were steady and calm now. She suspected that he would be waking up on his own within the next hour or two. She had scrounged up some of Souta's old clothes for the Shikyo, but she was afraid they would swallow him. She carefully dressed him in the smallest set of pajamas she could find, taking care not to jar him.

Dressing accomplished, she kneeled beside him to examine his aura again. She gathered her powers and concentrated them on their conjoined hands. She felt her powers slowly flowing down her arms, through her hands, and over into Shikyo.

Once she felt her powers surround him, she probed at his aura. It was then that she noticed a slight puncture in his aura, as if someone had blown a hole through it. Alarmed, she checked to see if his soul was still intact. As she scanned his soul, she felt a sense of déja vu, as if his soul was familiar to hers. She felt a great sense of joy fill her soul.

Continuing her search, she was relieved to find that his soul was whole and unharmed – not even the bitterness of the night's events had marred its purity. On the heels of her relief came surprise as she noticed that his soul was trying to mix with hers, as if seeking solace in its embrace. Thinking quickly, she meticulously separated their souls and wove the fabric of his aura together to seal the hole. Once she was done, she gently cut the connection. Opening her eyes, she gazed down at the still sleeping boy. _Oh, Shippo_, she thought, _I wish you had been spared the pain of your parents' deaths in this life. I'll protect you and help you bring your parents' killers to justice. And this time, I promise never to leave you. Only death can separate us this time. _Kagome's vow was ringing in her mind as Hojo returned to the shrine.

/\/\/\/\

Well, that's all for now. In the next chapter, Kagome sets off with Hojo and Shikyo. What will happen when Shikyo wakes up? Will anything happen between Kagome and Hojo? And, was that Inuyasha at her window? New clues will be revealed in the next chapter!

**Japanese Terms:**

Nihon – Japanese

Shinsei – true

Yakuza – gang

Haori – Japanese formal coat – Inuyasha wears a fire rat haori in the manga and TV series.

Please review! Good reviews are my muses!


	3. With Smiles and Laughter

_**Chapter 2: With Smiles and Laughter**_

"Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all." Laura Ingles Wilder _Little House on the Prairie_

Here is chapter 2, and it starts and ends with a dream…

Kagome leaned back against a tree, looking into the dancing flames of the camp fire. Her sleeping bag had been removed from her yellow backpack and unrolled a safe distance from the fire. Yawning, she stretched and looked down at the fox kit in her lap. _Shippo_, he had already fallen asleep. Smiling softly, she placed her hand delicately over the back his head, ruffling his hair before settling into a steady rhythm as she ran her hand across his head, over his back and down his tail. _Brush. Lift. Down. Brush. Lift. Down._

The soft cadence of his breathing and the rush of silky fur beneath her hand lulled her into a state of drowsiness. Her eyelids heavy, she fought to stay awake. She felt it was vitally important to stay awake. But she couldn't recall why. And she was so… very…. drowsy, surely it wouldn't hurt to close her eyes just a second. Leaning her head back against the tree, her eyelids drifted downwards, her world narrowing into a thinner and thinner slice of bright fire flame before the blackness consumed it. Suddenly, the fox kit in her lap, the tree against back, and the earth beneath her were gone. _No!_ _ They're all gone! How could I forget?! I shouldn't have closed my eyes. Shippo?! Inuyasha?! Can anyone hear me? Please, Kami, tell me I'm not the only one left! Please! _Panicked, she tried to open her eyes. But her eyelids were so heavy. _Open! Open! Open!!_

Kagome jerked awake, her heart beating loudly in her ears. She must have fallen asleep earlier. Looking down, she saw that Shikyo was still unconscious, lying across the back seat of the car with his head in her lap and a blanket tucked underneath his chin. "When are you going to wake up? Ne?" Kagome whispered to him softly, a tender smile on her lips and a tender feeling in her heart.

Reaching down, she stroked his hair out of his eyes, then froze. This was the firsttime she had ever woken up from one of her dreams and _not _been alone. Shippo, or Shikyo, was with her. She wasn't alone anymore. She felt happy and sad and overwhelmed. Happy, oh so happy, to have him with her. But sad to have him come to her in his current circumstances. And overwhelmed to be taking care of him again without Inuyasha. She had never thought anything of taking care of him while Inuyasha was there to protect them and provide for them. Now, that would be up to Hojo and her for the time being. And she could not help but feel that Hojo would not quite measure up to Inuyasha. Sighing, Kagome leaned her head against the window.

"Higurashi-san, we should discuss what will be required of you to guarantee yours and Shikyo's safety," Hojo spoke to her from the front seat. They were traveling to Kyoto where they would assume new identities for the duration of Shikyo's government protection.

"Hmm," Kagome nodded and sat up straighter in her seat. "I'm ready."

Hojo reached into the glove compartment and pulled out two IDs with matching government papers and handed them to Kagome. As she shuffled through the papers, Hojo continued, "These are our new identities. I left our first names the same, but changed our last names."

Kagome was shocked to see that the two IDs had the same last names. "Wait! Our last names are the same?" she observed.

If she could see better in the dark, she imagined that Hojo would be blushing right now. "Yes, we'll be sharing an apartment, so I thought it best if we appear to be related. We will be the Omoi cousins, related through our fathers," he explained.

Kagome let out a relieved breathe. She had been terrified for a moment that he would ask her to pose as his wife. Chuckling a little at her nervousness, she glanced up to see Hojo gazing at her through the rearview mirror. Smiling, she mentally thanked him for being so considerate.

Hojo continued his explanation, "Our birthdays and ages have been slightly altered as well. We'll need a new name for Shikyo. It's too dangerous for us to keep his first name."

"I'd like to call him Shippo," Kagome interjected.

"Fine, Shippo it is," Hojo agreed. "Shippo will be my son, since…" Kagome interrupted before he could finish.

"No, Shippo will be _my_ son," Kagome stated, her voice firm.

"Higurashi-san, our IDs have the same last name. That would make him illegitimate."

"Not if I was related to you through marriage. Maybe married to your brother or cousin instead," Kagome offered.

"OK, but where is my imaginary brother now?"

Kagome realized Hojo was letting her make most of the decisions. She was touched by his thoughtfulness. She'd have very little say over her life during the next few weeks, and he was easing the way for her by giving her the freedom to make what decisions she could.

"Deceased, which will explain why I am staying with you and why I always wear white."

"Higurashi-san, you still wear white? You're still mourning him, aren't you?" Hojo's voice held a note of barely concealed sadness. Kagome cringed at the pity she detected. It was her choice, and she had made it. She did not regret it.

Kagome decided a change in topic was in order. "What will we call each other?"

Hojo allowed her to drop the sensitive subject. "By our first names, I'll call you Kagome. You may call me Akitoki or Onii-sama," Hojo offered, amusement coloring his voice.

"Why don't I call you my annoying little brother instead?" Kagome teased back.

"I think that might raise a few eyebrows since my birthday is clearly before yours," Hojo continued in a more serious voice. "Kagome, we need to construct a history for my brother. Let's start with how he died."

"Hm, let's see. It should be something sudden, something for which I had no time to prepare myself. He died in a car accident a little over one year ago." Kagome answered.

Hojo wondered if Kagome knew how revealing her answer had been. People tend to stick close to the truth when they construct new identities. Especially about subjects that defined them as a person. She had obviously lost the man who still held her heart in an unexpected and abrupt manner. Her relationship with him must have been one of the defining events of her life. Although the startling fact that she still wore white for him had told Hojo that already.

"Who was he, your husband?" Hojo asked.

"He was a man of mixed heritage, the perfect blend of both Japanese and American. But never belonging to either. Always an outsider. He once said he was 'Neither one nor the other.' But the truth was that he was the best of both." Kagome's voice trailed off as she realized who she was describing. She had forgotten that they were discussing her hypothetical husband. Without even thinking she had fashioned him after Inuyasha.

"That would explain Shippo's red hair. What was your husband's job?" Hojo's response interrupted her thoughts and prompted her to continue.

"He was a warrior. He fought to make the world a better place for others. He strongly believed in justice. If you had asked him what his job was, he would have told you it was protecting me. But if you asked me, I would tell you his job was protecting everyone but himself." Kagome paused. For the first time in years, she was talking about Inuyasha. The experience was so novel and so poignant that she felt like her heart was breaking all over again. It did not matter that Hojo thought she was talking about her hypothetical husband. She was able to talk about _him_, and that was enough.

It was funny, Hojo mused, how something that felt like it should bring you closer to a person could actually drive you further apart. While Hojo was thrilled that Kagome was indirectly opening up to him, he could tell that the more she spoke to him about _him_, the more she forgot his own presence and the more real _his_ became. Not wanting to alert Kagome that he knew who she was really discussing, he directed their conversation towards lighter topics. He hoped that Kagome would soon feel comfortable enough with him to talk about her past openly.

"So, my brother was a soldier. Rather fitting, seeing that I will be posing as an ex-army officer teaching self-defense. Must be a family trait. Now my dear sister-in-law, what is your occupation?" Hojo kept his voice light.

"I will beautify your home by gracing it with my presence, great Onii-sama," Kagome teased.

"You will no doubt lend your beauty to our home, but I think that may be a bit boring for a young lady with an astute mind," Hojo said. His implied complement pleased Kagome.

"Then I will help you run your self-defense business and keep the house for you," Kagome replied. She was enjoying this – this make-believe life. Maybe it would be nice to be someone else for a while.

But did she really want to leave behind her grief – leave her memories of lost friends and lost love, of quiet evenings around a camp fire, of _his_ shoulders under her hands and his hands wrapped securely around her thighs as they flew so high they could almost touch the sky. No, she liked who she had been and who she was now. Her adventures in the past had taught her to value herself, to value her uniqueness. She may be Kikyo's reincarnation, but she was _not _Kikyo. She was herself, Kagome, and that was who she wanted to be. And, their memories were _her _burden, but it was a burden she welcomed because it was hers alone, her unique and specifically crafted burden meant solely for her.

Resolving to stay true to herself, she turned her head towards Hojo and said, "Creating this new identity is not really about becoming a new person, is it? It's about creating a past that explains how you became the person you are."

"Hn," Hojo nodded his head in agreement.

Kagome continued, "But, the events and people who have shaped our lives are so fundamental to whom we have become, that our creations are just another reincarnation of them. We can never really escape their influence or their stamp on our lives, can we?"

"No," Hojo answered. "I don't believe you would want to if you could, Kagome."

"No, I wouldn't. Hoj… No, it's Akitoki now. Have you ever lost someone close to you?"

"Yes, I lost my wife three years ago."

'_His wife,' _Kagome thought, 'I was not expecting thatAnd he lost her recently. Does he carry the weight of her loss with him? Has he learned how to lessen the burden, how to remember without the pain?'

"How do you bear it? It was so recent," Kagome asked.

"Compared to your loss, I suppose it is recent. Her death had not been unexpected. She was a childhood friend of mine. She was diagnosed with cancer in college. They told her she had two years to live at most, even with treatment. She shared with me shortly afterwards that the hardest part about dying young was that she would never marry and never have children. After thinking it over, I asked her to marry me two weeks later. To my surprise, she turned me down. It took me another month to convince her that I was sincere. We were married six months later. We lived together as man and wife for eight months before I lost her. I have no regrets about our marriage or how we chose to spent the short time we had together. She was happy, and that's the way I remember her, with smiles and laughter."

'With smiles and laughter,' Kagome mused. 'That is how I want to remember Inuyasha.'

Hojo paused a moment before continuing, "I imagine, Kagome, the reason your loss has sat so heavily on your heart was that it was unexpected. Perhaps you are haunted by words left unspoken and things left undone."

Kagome would never have described Hojo as observant, but his perceptive words burned her. She was pierced by the sharpness of his tongue. He'd seen through to the core of her sorrow, and his gaze seared her heart.

Kagome was saved from having to come up with a response by a slight movement in her lap. She looked down to see Shikyo's eyes gazing at her in confusion and fear. Soothingly, she laid her hand on his forehead and spoke. "Shikyo, I can see you have awoken. My name is Kagome. I'm a doctor. I'm here to help you. Do you remember what happened last night?"

At his apprehensive nod, she smiled reassuringly. "That's good. Officer Akitoki and I," Kagome motioned towards the front seat, "are going to take care of you and protect you. When you are feeling up to it, you can tell us what happened. Until then, I want you to rest and get better. I'll be here with you when you awaken."

She could tell he was still scared by the way he fisted his hands in her shirt as he settled into a more comfortable position. She continued stroking his forehead as his shoulders shook with his silent sobs. She wished she could bear the pain for him. But this pain was his burden, and no one could bear it for him. Quietly, she hummed a soothing tune that, combined with the regular motion of the car, lulled him back to sleep.

/\/\/\/\

Kagome stretched her arms above her head and opened her eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling. Where was she? And, more importantly, who was that in the bed with her? Afraid to look, she peeked down at the head resting on her chest and the arm wrapped around her stomach. Seeing red hair, she let out a sigh of relief. Shikyo was with her. They must have arrived at the apartment last night. Blushing, she wondered if Hojo had carried both of them inside.

Slowly, she eased herself out from underneath Shikyo and off of the bed. She noticed she still wore her clothes from last night. Smoothing out the wrinkles, she opened the door to her room. Directly across from her was another door, probably Hojo's room. A short way down the hall on the opposite side was a bathroom. The end of the hall opened into what looked like a family room. Stepping out of the room, she headed towards the family room. Attached to the family room was a small kitchen.

And that was where Kagome found Hojo seated with a cup of coffee in his hand. He looked up and smiled at her as she entered. "Good morning, Kagome. Would you like some fresh coffee?"

"Yes. Don't get up!" Kagome protested as Hojo started to rise from his seat. "I'll get it."

Kagome opened cabinets until she found the coffee mugs. Grabbing one, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down.

Hojo spoke, "Kagome, we should go over some basic rules. First, we cannot contact our families on the home line. I have a special cell phone for that purpose. We can make short phone calls to them once a week to keep in touch. While we are talking to them, we can not tell them where we are or give them any clues about our current identities. Anything they know can lead the Nihonshinsei to Shikyo. Second, unless we are alone in the apartment, we are always playing our roles, you as my sister-in-law and Shikyo as your son Shippo. It helps if we stay in character to a degree even while we are alone. From this point on, we'll call each other by our first names and Shikyo by Shippo. Third, while we are here, I need you to be completely honest with me. If you feel uncomfortable, if you feel sad, if something scares you, I need to know. We will be working closely together 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the next few weeks. If you don't let me know how you feel, I can't make this easier for you."

"Thank you, Toki-kun," Kagome replied. Hojo arched an eyebrow at her shortened version of his name, but didn't protest. "I will do my best to make this easier for you as well." Smiling warmly at him, Kagome patted his hand, then blushed as Hojo turned his hand over and clasped her hand. As she tugged lightly to free her hand, Hojo tightened his grasp.

"Kagome, I'm your brother-in-law. We've grieved together over the loss of my brother, and we have found comfort in each other's presence. You should feel comfortable enough around me not to blush and flinch every time we touch. If you do, people may think we are more than brother and sister." Kagome acknowledged the wisdom of his words, but was still uncomfortable. However, she left her hand in his as they finished sipping their coffee in the awkward silence that settled between them.

/\/\/\/\

Two days into their stay Shikyo - no, she needed to think of him as Shippo - had become comfortable enough with the two of them to give them a description of the two assassins. Hojo had asked a police sketch artist to render a drawing of them based upon Shippo's description. Now all they had to do was wait until the assassins were picked up by law enforcement. However, there was no guarantee that would happen anytime soon. So Kagome and Hojo tried their best to acclimate Shippo to his new 'family'.

To Kagome's delight, Shippo had formed an immediate bond with her. The two of them were almost inseparable. Hojo had quietly asked her one night if it was becoming tiring for her to have Shippo with her constantly. She had assured him that it was her wish as well. After all, she had not seen her own Shippo in ten years. She felt like she had been given another chance to be with him, and she planned to make the most of it. Thus they spent their days playing games, reading or watching television together. And at night, they slept together in the same room, Shippo curled up against her side.

Shippo's energetic playing during the day, despite his wounds, could have misled her into thinking he was a normal child with no tragedy touching his past. But at night, with his small hands fisted in her pajamas as soft cries shook his small frame, she knew he was weighed down by the events of that night and wondered if he would ever be able to crawl out from underneath his sorrow completely.

Three days into their stay, it was these tears that prompted her into telling him creatively embellished adventures from her time spent in the Sengoku Jidai. Inuyasha became his new hero. And, after hearing about the little fox kit named Shippo, he declared that he especially liked his new nickname and wanted everyone to call him Shippo from then on.

A surprising consequence of her nightly story telling was Shippo's proclivity to retell the story to Hojo the next morning. Kagome was afraid Hojo would go insane from hearing 'Inuyasha this' or 'Shippo that' all day long. Shippo even asked to reenact different parts of the stories she told him. He called it, 'Playing Inuyasha.' She could just imagine the look on Inuyasha's face if he ever found out that he was being played by Hojo.

Today, two weeks into their stay, they were acting out Shippo's favorite part of the Inuyasha saga - his fight against the Thunder Brothers to avenge the death of Shippo's parents. She often felt a sense of déjà vu as she watched Shippo act out the scenes from his past incarnation. Right now he was zapping the Thunder Brothers repeatedly with his fox fire as Hojo, playing Inuyasha, swung the Tessaiga at them. Their foes vanquished, Shippo looked up at Hojo expectantly. At Hojo's questioning look, Shippo nudged him and whispered, "The speech with Lady Kagome!" Hojo approached Kagome, who thanked him for rescuing her. Then, he clasped her hand in his as he implored her 'ghost' not to go. Kagome gave him a comically confused look that sent Shippo into ripples of laughter. Then together, the three of them collapsed on the floor laughing. 'Inuyasha,' she thought, 'I've found my way to remember you with smiles and laughter.'

/\/\/\/\

A mild breeze softly scented with sakura and geranium blossoms ruffled the sleeves of Kagome's sundress and lifted the hair off her shoulders, its thick strands tumbling, twirling, and twisting around silver strands in an intimate caress. Squinting at the last rays of sunlight painting the sky in brilliant shades of pink and orange, Kagome rested her head on the shoulder of the hanyou beside her. From their seat atop the hill, they could see the valley spread out below them, the trail to the village a ribbon of dusky pink against a sea of green.

"Ne, Inuyasha, it's been a long time, hasn't it?" Kagome asked. Uncrossing her arms, she laid her palms against the skirt of her dress, her nervous fingers tracing the hem.

"Yes, it's been a long time – too long," Inuyasha replied, his gaze following the restless path of Kagome's fingers. His own hand, crossed over his chest, was tapping an impatient beat into the bicep of his opposite arm. Releasing his bicep, he settled his hand lightly atop hers, halting its anxious motion.

Kagome's eyes, still fixed on the horizon, widened as she felt the weight of Inuyasha's hand settle on top of hers. Her hand tingled where Inuyasha began to trace idle patterns over first the back of her hand, then her palm. Shifting her hand, she wove her fingers through his, their fretful fingers finding rest in each others.

Sighing, Inuyasha leaned his head so that it rested atop hers. Together, they watched the sun slip behind the horizon as stars began to sparkle like diamonds in the darkening sky.

"Rest now Kagome, we'll continue our quest tomorrow," Inuyasha ordered, his breath stirring her bangs.

"Hmm…" Kagome's somnolent reply faded away as she descended into a dream within a dream.

/\/\/\/\

Early morning light streamed through cracks in the blinds and slanted across the bed. One beam danced over the back of Kagome's eyelids, piercing dreams as easily as it pierced her thin lids to find her eyes underneath. Waking, Kagome smiled, her dream lingering in her sleep-hazed mind. Since she had started sharing their adventures with Shippo, her dreams had been filled with memories of her time in the Sengoku Jidai. The pain of losing her friends was still there, but now it mingled with memories of shared smiles and warmth.

/\/\/\/\

Next Chapter: Will anything happen between Hojo and Kagome? Where is Inuyasha?


	4. Nosy Neighbors

_**Chapter 3: Nosy Neighbors**_

Note: Toki-kun is Kagome's nickname for Hojo.

Thanks to Foxy Lady for beta reading!

Thank you to all my reviewers:

**Lizziekiss**: I like you ideas. I can see we both like to write a good story.

**DB-Explorer**: I hope you find the developments over the next two chapters interesting. You'll be finding answers to some of your questions soon.

**Silver Moon Vampire**: I love your nick. It has great imagery. More characters are coming up soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

"The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder." Virginia Woolf

/\/\/\/\

True to his word, Hojo set about systematically acclimating her to his presence and current role in his life. If she had known the assault he was planning to help her get into her role, she may have run from the apartment the very first day.

At the start, Hojo would occasionally hold her hand a little longer than necessary to help her out of her seat. He would sometimes place a hand on her shoulder or the small of her back to guide her from one room in the apartment to another. Gradually, his touches became more intrusive. He started tucking her hand around his elbow as they walked around the apartment. When she sat on the couch in the living room, he would sit next her, their knees bumping into each other and his arm draped across the couch behind her shoulders. A couple of times when Kagome fell asleep while they were watching television, Kagome would awaken to find herself propped up against Hojo's side, his shoulder serving as her pillow. However uncomfortable Kagome was with his touches, they were never inappropriate and never outside the bounds of propriety. Even so, each touch and each small comfort she accepted from him felt like a betrayal. Each brush of his hand, each little intimacy burnt like the lick of a flame, culminating into an inferno of embarrassment, shame, and mortification for Kagome.

To make matters worse, Hojo was genuinely working with her to improve their cover and put her at ease. If he had tried to take advantage of the situation or been inappropriate in any way, Kagome would have felt her discomfort was justified. However, his every touch and his every action were tinged with the kindness that was the core of his nature. And his kindness was suffocating her. She was drowning in the sea of his tenderness, being softly smothered under the waves of his compassion. She found herself wishing that Hojo would display a bit of Inuyasha's gruffness or Miroku's perversion just so she could catch her breath.

All these feelings built in Kagome, leaving her confused and short tempered, to the point that she became curt with Hojo and sent silent signals to him that broadcasted her irritation. As the night moved in, Kagome's discomfort was evident. Having put Shippo down to sleep, Kagome returned to the living room. Hojo was sitting on the couch. As Kagome joined him on the couch, she mused that the casual observer would see only a cozy domestic scene. Both of them had switched into more comfortable clothes. Kagome was wearing her standard white tank top and pajama bottoms, her pajama top thrown over the tank top to preserve her modesty. Hojo was wearing a Tokyo University t-shirt and sweat pants. But the astute observer would notice that Kagome had seated herself on the end of the couch furthest away from Hojo, the set of her shoulders and turn of her body communicating as loudly as words '_Do NOT touch_'.

Good thing Hojo was astute. Hojo watched Kagome as she sat down. She had placed herself at the opposite end of the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest and her body curved away from him. She was leaning so far away from him that she had to crane her neck to see the television. It would have been comical if it had not boded badly for their ability to play their roles comfortably over the extent of their stay in Kyoto. It was vital that they appear to be what they said and nothing more. The entire Nihonshinsei would be looking for Shippo. There was no way of telling which of their neighbors might be one of their members. Any deviation from the roles they had set for themselves might raise suspicions and give them away.

After the first day of their arrival in Kyoto, Hojo had focused his attention on solving this problem – Kagome's apparent discomfort with him. He had great confidence in his ability to find a solution. After all, his IQ of 170, his nationally-ranked academic record, and his exemplary career as a police detective all testified to his superior intellect. Never mind that his latest strategy had achieved the opposite effect of that for which he was aiming. Hojo was nothing if not persistent, and the current object of his persistence was Kagome.

Hojo mulled over the possibilities in his mind. Option one, continue current strategy. Even someone with a more limited brain capacity could see that this particular option was out. Continuing with his current strategy might just drive Kagome off the couch, out of the apartment, and out of Kyoto. Possibly even out of Japan. Besides, her reaction to his slightest touch was somewhat disheartening. Kagome was a beautiful woman, and it stung his pride to see her flinch or, even worse, clench her jaw and bear it whenever he casually touched her hand or shoulder. The worst part was, after two weeks of this, he felt like he was molesting her instead of offering her a simply courtesy.

Option two, stop the current strategy and simply leave their relationship as it was. Hojo reasoned that this would be the easiest option in the short term, and while that certainly had merit, in the long term it could be problematic or even fatal. Up to now, Kagome and Shippo had stayed inside the apartment. Now that Shippo's injuries were nicely healed and his bruising gone, it was time to assimilate them into the neighborhood. It would only be a matter of time before a perceptive neighbor noticed Kagome's skittishness around him. And he held no hope of her acting in any way contrary to how she felt. Because Kagome was by nature an open book, her emotions printed across her face for all the world to read if they only bothered to look.

Option three, develop a new strategy. For Hojo, this option held the most promise because it accomplished three basic things. First, it gave him an excuse to exercise his intellectual muscles. This might seem like a small thing, but for a person with his abilities, problems that required any real critical thinking rarely presented themselves. Second, it allowed him to save face, even if the only person for whom he was saving face was himself. His first strategy had failed, but the possibility remained that he may _not fail_.

Option three held another benefit, one which Hojo felt was the most important. It offered him a chance of letting Kagome do what she wanted, which was to stay here with Shippo (_he had no illusions that it was to stay here with him)_, and of improving their relationship, which is what he wanted. Besides, at the end of the day, he was not a mind, but a man. A man who admired the fifteen year-old girl that Kagome used to be. A man who admired the woman she had become even more. A man who wanted her admiration in return.

Choosing option three, Hojo moved to goal setting. His goal was to have Kagome become comfortable enough with him that she did not inadvertently give away their cover. His hope, however, was that she would grow close enough to him that they would once again become friends. Despite his admiration of Kagome's character and beauty, he had no plans to pursue a deeper relationship with her. The fiery fifteen-year old he knew in his youth had perished as surely as the young man she still loved had died. As a fifteen-year old, her fiery beauty had outshone the sun. She had always seemed so vibrant, as if her life had been painted in bright hues of ruby, sapphire and gold against the canvas of the world. In place of the fifteen-year old Kagome he remembered was a composed young woman whose every move, every smile, every laugh was tinged with a melancholy that she could not quite conceal, dampening the jeweled hues of her youth to hazy pastels. It was as if her heart had frozen at the moment of her loss. Hojo feared that any man who attempted to warm her heart would end up frostbitten for their efforts.

With that thought, Hojo turned his gaze towards Kagome again. The soft glow of the television illuminated the pale column of her neck and curve of her cheek. She looked vulnerable and delightfully feminine. Hojo reconsidered, maybe she was worth the effort after all.

Goals set, all Hojo had to do was figure out how to achieve them. That was where option three started to fall apart. He had no idea how to get Kagome's cooperation. A friend had once told him that women were not half as mysterious as they thought they were. He had agreed at the time. However, he found Kagome to be the exact opposite. She was a woman who never tried to be mysterious, never tried to be anything other than forthright and honest. But she was an enigma to him. She was a complete paradox. While her emotions were openly displayed, her thoughts were hidden and carefully guarded. He felt that it was her circumstances rather than her intent that made her mysterious. Perhaps if he learned more about the circumstances that had formed her into the woman she was today, then he could solve the mystery that was Kagome.

With that in mind, he cast around for an appropriate topic. What did they have in common after all? What common ground could they build upon? Thinking back to their childhood, he remembered their shared acquaintances.

"Kagome, do you think about our high schools days often?" Hojo asked, eying Kagome's back. "I remember you had three good friends." Kagome's first instinct was to think of Sango, Miroku and Shippo. Belatedly, she realized he must have been referring to Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi.

"Yes, Yuka, Eri and Ayumi," Kagome responded, turning in the chair so that she was angled slightly towards Hojo.

"I often wondered what became of the four of you, you in particular. Have you kept in touch with them?"

"Yes. Ayumi and Yuka have both married and have children. Ayumi moved to Hokkaido with her husband. Yuka still lives in town, but I don't see her very often. On the other hand, Eri and I are still very close. We both went to med school together. Right now, she works in the pathology department of Tokyo Hospital. However, the three of us have an annual reunion each year between Christmas and New Year's Day." Kagome had lost so many of her friends to the past that she refused to lose the ones she could keep. Having lost Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango and Shippo, she had had enough of wondering how old friends were, where they were, and if they were happy. She refused to add any more friends to that list. As a result of her determination, Kagome had become the glue that kept them together through college and after.

"It's funny, now that I think about it, I think I spoke with your friends more than you in high school. You were sick so often, I depended on them to give me updates on your condition."

Kagome's face reddened at the mention of all the fake illnesses used by her parents to explain her prolonged absences from school.

"I remember one time when the four of us helped you study for a mid-term exam. You had the flu, I think," Hojo continued.

"Yes," Kagome answered, more comfortable now that they were discussing a real illness. "I passed the exam the next day. I was very grateful to you for helping me Hojo," Kagome said. Directing an appreciative smile towards Hojo, Kagome let go of her knees and turned so that she could look directly at him as they talked. She had forgotten all the times he had tried to help her in high school.

"I was happy to help – ecstatic, in fact. Getting to help the object of my high school crush was a great pleasure for me," Hojo smiled as he teased Kagome, then he continued to reminisce. "I remember my friends ribbing me about that night the next day at WacDonalds. We used to eat at WacDonalds all the time."

"We did too! And we would go eat ice cream in the park in the summer."

"We'd eat hot bean paste buns in the park during the fall and winter."

"So would we! I can almost taste them now!" Nostalgia swept through Kagome. And for once, it brought with it not the crippling thoughts of her time in Sengoku Jidai, but soft thoughts of her shared moments with Eri, Yuka and Ayumi; fond memories of shopping, attending festivals and even studying.

"Do you remember Muki? He had a huge crush on Ayumi. But I don't think he ever confessed."

"Really?! I had no idea."

"Kagome, I think you were oblivious to a lot of crushes," Hojo teased, smiling to take any sting out of his words.

Kagome flushed guiltily at his words. "Well…actually, I did notice, but I was…" _What? Busy saving the world 500 years in the past? Busy pursuing a hanyou who would be over five centuries old if he was alive today?_ Kagome did not want to lie to Hojo again, but the truth was too crazy to believe, so she let her half-finished sentence trail off into silence.

"I know, Kagome. You had started seeing him, right?" Hojo asked, careful to keep his voice devoid of any nuances. "How did you meet?"

Ah, time for another avoidance, another lie. "Ahh…He rescued me when I was in trouble," Kagome hedged. Still the truth, and still a deceit.

Hojo sensed that Kagome was hiding something important from him. Instead of pursuing an explanation, he inquired, "How long were you dating?"

"Hmm…I'm not sure how to answer that question. We were never really dating. But I was with him about three years before – " Kagome stopped talking abruptly as she recalled waking up in the bottom of the well the morning after losing Inuyasha. She turned her head to hide the sheen of tears in her eyes from Hojo.

"Kagome, it still hurts, doesn't it?" Hojo gently inquired. Hojo's voice grew rough with emotion as he continued, "I still miss her even now. My wife, Meiko made the best chicken udon and dango. She liked to decorate the dango she included in my lunches with little animal faces. My partner would always tease me about them. Eventually, she became too ill to make my lunches."

Kagome turned her face back towards Hojo. She noticed his eyes were suspiciously bright as well. Kagome leaned forward as he continued to speak, his course, gravelly voice abrading the surface of her heart with his sorrow. "I knew when she died, I'd miss her company, her cooking, her funny little quirks. What I didn't anticipate was missing absolutely everything, even her habits I thought were annoying. Meiko couldn't sit quietly and watch tv. She would always comment on shows and movies as we watched. She was constantly guessing the endings and spoiling them for me. I was always reminding her not to talk, to relax and enjoy the show. It's funny how, now that she is not here, watching tv, watching movies holds no enjoyment for me anymore. I miss her constant rambling. In my memory now, her ramblings seem like music - sweet to my ears and my soul."

"Sometimes," Hojo continued, his voice deepening with his emotions, "when I'm asleep, I dream that she's still alive. I talk to her and tell her about my day. Then, when I wake up, it's like I've lost her all over again."

Kagome watched Hojo as he spoke. He had leaned his head so far back it was resting atop the back of the couch, grief-clouded eyes gazing towards the ceiling. The hand closest to her on the couch was fisted, his knuckles white from tension.

"Then, it's like starting from scratch. Learning how to breathe again without her, how to get up without her, how to come home without her. Does it ever get any easier?" Hojo asked, his voice hoarse. His chest burned with emotion. He felt like he was ripping his heart out and handing it over for Kagome's cold inspection, but he could not control his compulsion to confide in her. Perhaps it was her own bereavement, which surrounded her like a second skin, that led him to share his own.

At the visible manifestation of Hojo's grief, Kagome concluded that she had not been fair to Hojo these last two weeks. If she felt like accepting his gentle touches was betraying Inuyasha, how much more must he feel that offering her these touches was a betrayal of his _wife_. And somehow the knowledge that theirs was a shared discomfort made her more comfortable with him.

Saddened and soothed by his sorrow, she set her mind to comforting him. Because Kagome, by nature, had always been a doctor, even before she was a doctor. She was always treating people's injuries, both emotional and physical. Whether it was bandaging Kouga's injuries from battle with sterile gauze or bandaging Inuyasha's battered heart with her own, she would help them heal and protect them from further injury. Gazing into the eyes of the wounded man before her, Kagome did the only thing she could – she scooted across the couch and took his fisted hand between her own.

Hojo jerked slightly at the contact. Out of all the things Kagome could have chosen to do, her holding his hand was the last thing he had expected. Her little hands squeezed his, silently communicating her understanding. Hojo turned his head to gaze down at their joined hands. As she began to speak, he relaxed his fist and was rewarded with Kagome intertwining her fingers with his own.

"You ask if it ever gets easier. I'm not sure how to answer you. I can tell you that you get more used to their absence over time." What Kagome did not tell him was that time had not blunted the intensity of her own grief, only the frequency of it. It pierced as keenly today as it had thirteen years ago.

Kagome continued, "I've learned that I can live without him. That my life can go on. When he was with me, I couldn't imagine that I would be able to get out bed, to work, to study, to dream without him by my side. But I have also learned that while I can live without him, I still don't want to. Even now, thirteen years after the last time I saw him, I still don't want to live without him – so much that it hurts."

Kagome paused to consider her next words.

"You mentioned that you still have dreams about her," Kagome added. "I still see him in my dreams as well. But these dreams, they bless my life. There's no chance for me to see him again except in my dreams. So I am happy I still dream about him."

As they continued to talk, Hojo realized that contrary to his earlier assumptions, the core of Kagome's heart was warm and welcoming. One had only to pass the jagged edges of her broken heart to reach it.

/\/\/\/\

Kagome and Hojo's newfound ease with each other had a calming effect on Shippo as well. As they prepared to integrate into the neighborhood, Kagome and Shippo naturally fell into the role of mother and son. Kagome was originally worried that Shippo would be uncomfortable calling her mom, so she had hesitated to ask him. The bedtime stories solved the problem for her. One night, she chose to tell Shippo how his namesake asked Lady Kagome if she would be his mother. After reenacting the story during their playtime the next day, Shippo continued to call her Oka-san, as if he was silently asking for her permission. Kagome demonstrated her approval by giving him privileges reserved for the eldest son in a household. This gave her hope that he would be comfortable being a permanent member of her family. She had already taken steps to begin the adoption process. In less than six months he could be her son by law as well as in name.

Kagome was particularly relieved that they would not have to ask Shippo to lie to protect his identity. She had spent the majority of her teen years weaving a web of deception to explain her long absences to her friends and community. It was not until after she had lost Inuyasha that she realized the web was actually a wall, keeping her on one side and her friends on the other. Kagome had not wanted to lead Shippo down the same path, even if it would have been for his protection.

Two and a half weeks into their stay, Hojo announced that it was time to meet the neighbors. Hojo had explained to Kagome that the best way to hide was out in the open in a populated area. It made the Nihonshinsei's job the equivalent of finding a needle in a haystack – or rather, finding one particular piece of hay in the haystack.

So with much trepidation, Kagome and Shippo followed Hojo as he introduced them to the neighbors as his nephew and sister-in-law. In Japan, meeting the neighbors was a more involved process than simply visiting the two apartments adjacent to their own. It involved paying their respects to the landlady as well as any matriarchs of the complex. To be rejected by them would ensure social censure for the three of them the entirety of their stay. To be accepted, however, meant that Kagome would be expected to fulfill certain social obligations and duties as the landlady or neighborhood matriarchs requested. Participating in neighborhood meetings, attending soirees, bringing food to neighborhood functions, decorating for festivals, all these and more were expected of Kagome. Kagome was unsure which fate she thought was the worse, rejection or acceptance, but she suspected it was the latter.

Kagome was sure it was the latter when, two days later, she and Hojo joined the landlady and her family for dinner. The landlady, who asked everyone to call her Kito, but who everyone called Kito-sama behind her back, was a woman who firmly believed in her own benevolence. Her greatest pleasure was to recount her many acts of kindness to anyone who lived in the apartment complex. When she was not recounting her philanthropic forays, she was bullying everyone into participating in them, even the recipient, or rather victim, of her great charity.

Kito also considered herself to be a great fashionista. She went to great lengths to procure current fashions from Tokyo, Paris, and Rome. If only she would go to such great lengths to match her pieces before she wore them. Her current outfit was an excellent example. While each piece was exquisite by itself, as a whole the outfit resembled a collage of cutouts from fashion magazines. She wore a blue Dior hat atop her carefully coiffed hair, a red Valentino dress with a green Gucci belt, and royal purple Mori pumps. Kagome thought a woman with more than fifty years of dressing experience should have at least reached the stage of being able to coordinate her outfits.

It was Kito's offended fashion sense that caused Kagome to become the focus of her attention. Kagome was seated next to Hojo at Kito's dinner table, with Kito and her husband sitting opposite the two of them.

"Kag," Kito intoned. Kagome inwardly cringed at Kito's nickname for her. 'Kag' sounded way too much like _gag_, _hag_, _sag_, or _nag_. All words which she would rather not be associated with herself. "I say, weren't you wearing white last time I saw you?"

"Yesss," was Kagome's hesitant answer.

"Well Kag, you cannot expect to catch the eye of an eligible man if you insist on wearing such dreary clothes all the time. _You_ need some color in your wardrobe. Lucky for you, I am just the woman to help you do that."

Kagome did _not_ like the way this conversation was heading. She would have to answer carefully or risk offending Kito. "Kito, I greatly appreciate your concern for my welfare, but I would not dream of importuning you for the sake of something as trivial as my wardrobe. In addition, I am still in mourning for my husband. I wear white in honor of his memory."

"Nonsense!" Kito responded, punctuating her words with a wave of her hand. "A young woman such as yourself needs a man by your side. You shouldn't hide yourself away from all the eligible suitors around you. Your white wardrobe will frighten them all off."

Kagome was starting to fume. What she wore was her own business and no one else's. She was about to answer Kito with a sharp retort when she felt Hojo clasp her hand underneath the table and give it a short squeeze. Perplexed, she turned to look at Hojo as he responded to Kito in her stead.

"Kito-san, your kindness towards Kagome is greatly appreciated. I want to assure you that while Kagome is still in mourning for my brother, she is not alone. I have taken Kagome and her son into my home and have provided for them as if they were my own. I hope that by sharing this with you I have eased your concerns over Kagome's welfare."

"Why, Toki! You sly devil! I can see you are saving her for yourself." Kito ended this outrageous statement with a wink at Hojo as she waved her arm towards Kagome.

Kagome felt her face flushing an even deeper shade of red than Kito's Valentino dress. She was completely shocked. How could Kito possibly draw such a tawdry conclusion based upon Hojo's words? Maybe Kito had a secret fascination with the taboo. Totally disgusted, Kagome once again opened her mouth to deliver a scathing reply and set Kito straight. And, once again, Kagome felt Hojo squeeze her hand. What Hojo said next shocked her more than Kito's insinuation.

"Kito-san, I can see you are as perceptive as you are fashionable. Please share some fashion tips with us."

As Kito launched into a lengthy discourse on fashion, Kagome's attention remained on Hojo and his astonishing reply. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so she settled for doing neither. Kagome was certain, given Kito's obvious lack of fashion sense, that Hojo had just told Kito she was neither fashionable nor perceptive. However, she was equally certain that what Kito had heard Hojo say was the exact opposite. While these amusing thoughts were skipping merrily through her mind, she was also livid at Hojo for perpetuating Kito's obnoxious ideas about their relationship. However, confronting Hojo would have to wait until they were in the privacy of their own apartment. Ignoring Kito's continued discourse on fashion, Kagome let her mind wonder over creative ways to torture Hojo later when they were alone.

/\/\/\/\

Two hours of plotting later, Kagome's plan, which she had creatively named "Tormenting Toki: Get Even AND Get Revenge", was aborted about five minutes from its execution. They had just entered their apartment when Hojo turned to her, an apologetic look on his face, and said, "Kagome, I'm sorry. I know I've embarrassed you, but I felt it was necessary. You and Shippo are under my protection, and I couldn't allow Kito to complicate our already precarious situation with matchmaking schemes that would only distress you."

Hojo took a step closer to Kagome and placed his hands on her arms. She had to crane her neck back to maintain eye contact. "Kagome, you are so soft hearted, I know it would bother you if any of Kito's potential suitors for you became interested in you. We're not sure how long we'll be here, and I want our stay to be as stress free for you and Shippo as possible. Stress can lead to mistakes, and mistakes can be fatal when the Nihonshinsei are looking for us. My first priority is your safety."

Kagome felt annoyingly contrite. She had really been looking forward to implementing Operation Tormenting Toki. But, Hojo was right, a matchmaking Kito would be a nightmare to deal with and weaken their security. Her concerns about her reputation were ridiculous. After all, when had she ever cared what anyone other than her friends thought of her. The most important thing was that they were safe. Letting out a resigned breath, she focused her gaze on Hojo's eyes, only to find that his gaze had wandered southward. Specifically, he was staring at her mouth. This made Kagome particularly nervous, because it meant one of two things, either she had food stuck in her teeth or Hojo was thinking of kissing her. She was fervently wishing it was the former, when he started to lean towards her.

/\/\/\/\

Ah, a cliffhanger – I am sooo bad. But don't hate me, I make up for it in the next chapter.

Upcoming: What is happening between Hojo and Kagome? Where is Inuyasha? More will be revealed in the next chapter.

Please review!


	5. Blind Dates and Blind Leads

_**Chapter 4: Blind Dates and Blind Leads**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Thank you to my beta reader Foxy Lady! You have been a constant source of encouragement for me.

Thank you to my reviewers and readers:

**Elizabeth**: You'll find a hint of Inuyasha in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

**DB-Explorer:** Thank you again for your kind reviews and insightful comments. I have special plans for Inuyasha and Hojo.

**Silver Moon Vampire:** I am glad you asked that, HKI indicates that either the final pairing or one of the intermediate pairings will be Hojo and Kagome or Inuyasha and Kagome.

**lizziekiss: ** I am glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I really enjoyed your enthusiastic review!

**dragontrapper: **Thank you for the review. I am planning on answering your questions in the next two chapters. Enjoy!

Thank you to **DearestEli** and **Iebba** as well for reading and adding me to their favs.

Note: This chapter is rated M for language and sexual content.

"Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking." Black Elk

And now, I give you Chapter 4. It starts and ends with a kiss.

\/\/\/\/

Letting out a resigned breath, Kagome focused her gaze on Hojo's eyes, only to find that his gaze had wandered southward. Specifically, he was staring at her mouth. This made her particularly nervous, because it meant one of two things, either she had food stuck in her teeth or Hojo was thinking of kissing her. She was fervently wishing it was the former, when he started to lean towards her. His descent was halted by a knocking on the door.

Kagome tore herself out of his hands and opened the door. Their next door neighbor had come to return Shippo. She had invited him over to play with her son while they were at dinner with Kito. Scooping Shippo into her arms, Kagome held him like a shield while she thanked her neighbor and ran off to put Shippo to bed. Kagome never emerged from the bedroom that night. Instead, she spent twice as much time telling Shippo stories of Inuyasha's heroic deeds, then tossed restlessly in bed the first half the night, unable to sleep. It was late into the night when she finally fell in an agitated slumber.

\/\/\/\/

Soft kisses and soft caresses, Kagome sighed her pleasure into her lover's lungs. Claw-tipped fingers fanned across her face and threaded through her hair. Kagome moaned as he deepened the kiss, his hand trailing from her cheek to neck then onto her back where it pressed her more firmly into him. She could feel the planes of his chest through her cotton shirt, and her nipples tightened at the sensation.

Soon, his mouth followed the path left by his hand, raining butterfly kisses that teased as much as they tempted along her cheek and across her jaw. Next, he explored the curve of her neck, his fangs gently scraping as he lightly licked and nibbled his way to her collar bone. Moaning, she arched her back and leaned her head back, her breast aching even more at the firmer contact. She could feel his lips curving into a smile against her shoulder, as his hand glided from her back to her side, where it rested, tantalizingly close to the curve of her breast.

"Inuyasha," she whispered into the darkness, "please…"

He acquiesced by sliding his hand until it was just beneath the pulsing globe. Then, slowly, like warmed honey, his fingers inched their way up and around her breast until it rested in his palm. Kagome thought nothing could ever feel as good when he proved her wrong by feathering his fingers over her breast and then slowly drawing them to a point. Then, his thumb lightly circled the pulsing tip of her breast, before he released it completely. Her growl of displeasure was transformed into a whimper when his lips surrounded the swollen tip and drew her into his mouth. Gasping, she threaded her fingers into his long hair.

He continued his ministrations as he moved his other hand to her other breast. Then, the gentle the scrape of his teeth became firmer, almost painful, as his fingers dug into her other breast before pinching its tip. Stunned by the sudden roughness in his play, Kagome yanked at his hair, only to find that its long strands were no longer in her hands. Panicked, she pushed on his shoulders until he lifted his head and gazed at her with brown eyes instead of gold, short brown hair crowning his head instead of long silver waves.

"Nooo!!"

Kagome jerked awake, her shout still echoing in her ears.

\/\/\/\/

Hojo woke with a jolt upon hearing Kagome's cry. Throwing back the covers, he leapt out of bed and ran to Kagome's room. As he entered the room, she raised frightened eyes towards him. Searching for the source of her distress, he scanned the room before making his way towards the bed.

Kagome stared at Hojo as he walked towards her and Shippo. The lingering nightmare and his real presence in her room jarred with each other, the fear from her dream leaking into reality. Seeing the subject of her nightmare in person immediately after waking confused Kagome. With her heart still drumming loudly in her ears and the adrenaline still rushing through her veins, she struggled to maintain reason. Hojo was a friend, someone she could trust. While her mind intellectually knew this, she could not help but be afraid of him.

Hojo watched as uncertainty replaced the stark fear he first saw on Kagome's face. Stopping next to the bed, he asked her, "Kagome, is everything ok? What made you cry out?"

Kagome felt like she was suffering from a split personality. One part of her was terrified of the Hojo she had just seen in her dream, while another part of her was glad that the real Hojo was in the room. She could not quite banish the fear that he would suddenly morph from the kind Hojo she knew into the Hojo of her dream. And this one time she really did not want to meet the man of her dreams. Plucking up her courage, she answered. "It's really nothing. I just had a bad dream. Ironically enough, you were in it," Kagome admitted as she tried to laugh off her unease. Her laugh sounded forced even to her ears.

Misinterpreting his role in her nightmare, Hojo responded, "I've had similar nightmares as well. They started shortly after we first met in high school. The weird part was that they were always set in the woods or some village that looked like it came straight out of the Warring States Era."

Kagome's heart sped up even more at his words. Could Hojo be the reincarnation of one of her friends from the past? The possibility chased all other thoughts away. Cautiously, she inquired, "Toki-kun, in these dreams, what were you and I doing?"

Seeing her anxiety replaced with interest, Hojo enthusiastically shared the details of his dreams with her, "Well, most of the time, I was protecting you from demons. Sometimes though, you would be the one who protected me. You had these magical arrows that could vaporize a demon in one strike."

His response was better than Kagome could have imagined. A niggling suspicion had formed in the back of her mind, but she refused to acknowledge it until she was sure. Acknowledging it now, only to find out she was wrong later, would be too painful. Trying to maintain her calm, Kagome encouraged Hojo to tell her more. "Toki-kun, can you remember anything else from your dreams? For example, did you have other friends?"

"Yes, I had two close friends who traveled with me. They were around the same age as us when we first met in high school. They both helped me protect you as well."

Kagome's earlier suspicion was looking more and more like the truth. The more he told her, the more she was sure that he might be _his_ reincarnation. That thought alone sent Kagome's already racing pulse into overdrive. But she needed to ask him one more question, just to be sure. "Toki-kun, what was our relationship in your dreams."

Seeing Kagome's flushed cheeks and increased agitation, Hojo sat on the bed and took her hands before answering. "It's kind of embarrassing to admit this, but in those dreams I always felt like we were more than just friends."

Hojo's cheeks reddened as he continued, his head turned slightly away in chagrin, "It was those dreams that made it so difficult to give up on you during high school. I believed we were destined to meet, that we were meant to be with each other."

Hojo's eyes widened as Kagome let go of his hands and wrapped them around his neck. He was even more unnerved when he felt her shoulders shuddering against his chest as sobs shook her small frame. Carefully, he gathered her into his arms and pulled her into his lap. "Shhh," Hojo gently shushed her. "I know I'm not the most perfect man in the world, but surely it's not _that _terrible to find out we dated in my dreams. If it helps, I can promise never to date you again in real life." Hojo teased her, hoping to cajole her out of her strangely sorrowful mood.

Kagome was overcome by her emotions. It was like each emotion, each feeling was leaking out of her brain through her eyes as they tracked wet paths down her cheeks. Her grief, her loneliness, her sorrow were all being washed away over the hills and valleys of her face. Finally, she had found _him_ again. Her relief turned to anger, however, upon hearing his last statement.

"Don't you dare, Toki!" Kagome lifted her tear-streaked face to glare at him. "I can't believe you never told me this! If I had known, if you had only told me, I may have been saved years of grief!"

Hojo was completely perplexed. Kagome was making absolutely no sense. What did his dreams have to do with her grief? Given her current state of mind, he chose to investigate that particular question later.

"You must tell me everything you remember! I want to know every detail!" Kagome demanded.

Bemused by her atypical interest in his dreams, he assented, "OK, I'll tell you everything, but not tonight. You need to get some rest. I expect you to sleep a good four more hours before getting up. And I mean sleep!" He did not add that he thought she needed to calm down as well. He had never seen her so agitated. He was worried that she may overexcite herself if he continued.

Hojo tucked her back into the bed and turned to leave, only to find that her small hand had snaked out of the covers to grab his own. "Kagome?" he asked.

"Promise me. Promise me if I let you leave tonight that you will be here in the morning when I wake up."

Hojo was surprised at the real concern he heard in her voice. "Of course," he assured her, "I told you I would protect you. I'll be here when you wake up."

With those last parting words, Hojo left the room. Kagome watched him leave until he closed the door. Those words, _I will protect you_, brought back many memories for Kagome. The first time she heard them in InuTaisho's grave, the last time she heard them during _his_ proposal, and the thousands of times in between. Those four words were more than a promise; they were their pledge to each other. Those words were one of the many reasons she had fallen in love with Inuyasha. Perhaps they would be one of the reasons she learned to love Hojo.

Rolling over, she wrapped her arm around Shippo, who amazingly was still asleep, and resigned herself to four sleepless hours before she could continue her talk with Hojo.

\/\/\/\/

Seven hours later, Kagome awoke to the sounds of Shippo and Hojo playing in the living room. The events from the night before seemed like an illusion, as if she had dreamed them instead of lived them. Wanting to verify that she had not made up the whole episode in her mind, she raced from the bedroom in her pajamas to find Hojo.

Hojo looked up from coloring with Shippo as Kagome dashed into the room, her long hair a tangled halo around her face. Her wide eyes were riveted on him as she came to an abrupt halt. She looked as if she was seeing a ghost in the dead of the night instead of him and Shippo coloring in the bright sunlight. Smiling to reassure her, he said, "Kagome, I'm glad you're awake now. How are you feeling today? You had a rough night last night."

"I feel…" _confused, elated, stunned_, Kagome discarded all those options and settled with "well this morning." Having confirmed that she had not imagined the events from the previous night, she became aware of her disheveled state. Blushing, she turned back towards her room to prepare for the day.

\/\/\/\/

After finishing her shower, Kagome put on sweats and pulled her long black hair into a ponytail. Then she joined Hojo and Shippo in the living room and watched from the couch as Hojo continued to entertain Shippo. She felt inexplicably shy today, perhaps because she was aware of him in a way that she had never been before. He was no longer Hojo, her ex-suitor from high school, or Hojo, the detective; He was Hojo, the man. And the man was fascinating.

Kagome tried to behave normally while surreptitiously sneaking glances at him. She watched the play of muscles in his arms as he helped Shippo practice his arithmetic. She studied his subtle changes in expression as he watched television. She was particularly interested by the way he moved about the apartment. His movements contained a certain rugged grace to them, attesting to his excellent physique and his expert control of it. The bulk of his muscles suggested that he worked out regularly with weights.

But Kagome was not content to just watch, she wanted to hold his hand, run her fingertips over the contours of his face, and explore his chest with her hands. She wanted to know him the same way she had known Inuyasha, because maybe in knowing him she would no longer feel like she was separated from Inuyasha by five hundred years of history. But she did not dare do any of these. The mere fact that she was having these thoughts was so new to her that she found them frightening. For the past ten years, she had refused the company of men, locking up her own sensuality deep within her. She had unlocked the door, but she was not ready to open it. Thus, resigned to watching, she continued to steal glances at him throughout the remainder of the day.

It was not until Kagome had settled into bed for the night that she realized she had forgotten to ask him more details about his dreams. She would have to wait for the next day.

\/\/\/\/

Kagome was just finishing breakfast with Hojo and Shippo when she heard a knock on her front door. Rising from the table, she walked to the front door and opened it. Kito and Watanabe-san, another of one of the apartment complex's matriarchs, were both standing outside.

"Kag, it's so nice to find you home! Watanabe and I thought you would like to have tea with us. Why don't you join us?" Kito said.

Funny how questions from Kito sounded like orders, Kagome mused. She was suspicious of Kito's motives for inviting her to lunch. Based upon their previous conversations, Kito could be working on a new malevolent – oops, _benevolent_ – scheme with her as the focal point. Kagome considered making her excuses and not going. However, Kito's intentions might be as innocent as they sounded. After all, Watanabe was a stickler for propriety. Surely she would not participate in any of Kito's crazier charity projects. Reassured by Watanabe's presence, she agreed to join the two of them for tea.

Less than ten minutes later, she knew she had been conned. Watanabe had disappeared to the kitchen to prepare the tea, and Kito was forcing a ridiculous pink frilled dress over her head as she badgered Kagome about her bland wardrobe. As the dress settled onto her shoulders, Kagome breathed out a sigh of relief. The dress made her look like a kindergarten student. Even Kito could not possibly find this absurd look acceptable.

Kagome retracted her thought two seconds later as Kito exclaimed, "Kag, my dear. This looks _fabulous_ on you! It brings out your innocence. No one seeing you in this dress would possibly suspect that you've been married and had children."

Blushing, Kagome found Kito's statement to be completely ironic. In reality, she was as innocent as she looked, but she had no idea why Kito would find that to be her advantage in any situation. Reaching for the closures on the back of the dress, Kagome turned towards Kito to put an end to the dress up session.

"Kito, thank you for showing me this dress. It's absolutely lovely. But I really should be getting back to Shippo."

"Nonsense," Kito answered. "Toki is with Shippo. I am sure those two will be just fine without you for a little longer. They need to let you get out every once in a while."

Shoving a pair of lavender shoes into her hands, Kito continued, "Put those on dear. I'm going to fix up your hair a bit."

Rolling her eyes, Kagome put the shoes on and took a seat at the armoire. "Kito, is it really necessary to put my hair up? I'm not planning to wear this dress out of the room."

"Kag, of course it's necessary. We want to see the total effect, don't we?"

Kagome was at a loss as to how to answer. She did not think Kito would like it if she told her that she particularly did _not_ want to see the final effect, that she was in fact sure that it would be the most frightening combination of outlandish clothes she had ever worn. Fortunately, Kito did not seem to need or want an answer as she continued to tug on her hair.

Resigning herself to sitting through Kito's make-over session, Kagome tuned out Kito's continuous babble and let her thoughts wander. She wished that Hojo had come along with them. He would have either saved her from the whole experience or laughed with her over the sheer absurdity of it. She would have loved to see his expression upon seeing her in this dress. That thought gave Kagome a pause. For ten years, she had not cared what another human being had thought of her clothing. She found it both strange and exciting to anticipate his reaction to her dress, even though she knew that he would never actually see her in it.

"…, don't you think Kag?" Kagome realized Kito had asked her a question. She really should have been paying closer attention. Should she fake her through it, or admit she had not been listening? Dilemmas, dilemmas. Kagome decided to gamble and answer yes.

"Great! I am so glad you agreed!" Kito exclaimed, pulling Kagome out of her chair and towards the bedroom door.

"Wait!" Kagome cried, but Kito cut her off.

"Kag, you can't back out now. You've already agreed," Kito stated.

Kagome was just starting to suspect that Kito had deliberately waited for her attention to wander before asking that question. She also expected that she would not like what she had unwittingly agreed to do with Kito.

\/\/\/\/

Shigo Numeru watched as Kito led a young woman into the dining room. Standing up, he bowed to the young woman as Kito handled the introductions. Kagome Imao was dressed in another one of Kito's creations and held a shocked expression on her face. Shigo deduced that Kito had not informed the young woman of her match-making intentions. But to her credit, Kagome quickly recovered. He liked that, a woman with pluck. Spineless women were so boring, boring to watch, boring to pursue, boring to fuck. But he could tell that this woman would be a hell cat in the sack, especially with the rough play he preferred.

Another mark in her favor was her incredible looks. Despite her ludicrous dress, she was gorgeous. From her long legs, to her long black hair, she was stunning. Ample breasts, a small waist, flared hips. And her face, her face was her best feature. Her delicate Japanese features, her high cheek bones, her lush mouth, and her captivating eyes. Every bit of her looked like it was carved by a master sculptor. And this was one piece of artwork he intended to have for himself. Mind made up, he set about charming the pants off of her, literally.

\/\/\/\/

Kagome was seething. While Kito introduced her to Numeru, Kagome planned slow and painful ways to murder Kito, such as strangling her with one of the ruffles on her dress or impaling her with the spiked heel of her shoe. After Hojo had claimed an interest in her, she had thought Kito would not dare to try to set her up with someone else. Evidently, her assumption had been wrong. She was even angrier at herself than Kito. Hojo had warned her that Kito may have this in mind. She should not have relaxed her guard. Any problems that arose from this would rest firmly on her own shoulders.

After the initial shock over her forced blind date had worn off, Kagome resolved to be polite but firmly distant towards the man whom she assumed was Kito's other victim in this scheme. Bowing politely, she took a seat opposite to Numeru and proceeded to exchange the normal pleasantries. After learning a little more about Numeru, she was surprised that he had agreed to this meeting. He was a handsome man with dark hair cut stylishly long so that it just swept his shoulder as he turned his head. He was at least six feet tall, and he was the CEO of a large technology firm. Women probably threw themselves at him all the time. This pleased Kagome since she doubted such a man would be hurt by her inevitable rejection.

As they continued to talk and Numeru began to ask slightly impertinent questions, Kagome found it harder and harder to maintain a polite façade. She felt like he was deliberately testing her. In addition, the way he continued to run his eyes over her left her feeling slightly dirty, as if she was undressed in front of him instead of wearing yards of ruffles and lace. After he asked her where she lived, she threw subtlety out the window and decided to change tactics to directly discouraging him.

"I live with a man and my son," was Kagome's blunt answer. As he raised his eyebrows at her implied relationship with Hojo, she hoped that she had put a stop to his interest in her. However, even alluding to herself as a woman of loose morals did not seem to have any effect on his intentions, which led Kagome to believe that his intentions towards her were less than admirable. As he swept his eyes over her chest again, she was ironically thankful for the ruffly creation she was wearing. The more layers of clothing, the better. She suspected the man was a lecher. Not surprisingly, Kito's taste in men was equally as bad as her taste in clothing.

Unfortunately, Kagome was stuck here until Numeru left. Her clothes were in the room, and she refused to change with him there. She could only imagine what kind of sick thoughts that would give him.

For the first time since she had met the woman, Kagome was truly thankful to Kito when she asked Watanabe to bring her clothes to her in a bag. Clutching the bag to her chest, she made a hasty retreat from the apartment.

\/\/\/\/

Shigo watched as Kagome exited. Ah, his prey had sensed his intentions. Well, that would only make the chase more fun.

"Shigo-kun," Kito asked. "What do you think of our Kagome? You must not be discouraged by what she had said earlier. She lives with her brother-in-law. He's taken care of her and her son since she lost her husband."

"Kito, thank you for introducing such a lovely woman to me," Shigo stood as he continued to answer, "but I must decline any future meetings. Please convey my regards and my wishes to her."

Quickly exchanging farewells with Kito and Watanabe, he left the apartment. As he stepped outside, he swiftly glanced around the apartment complex to locate Kagome. He was rewarded with the view of her back as she entered an apartment across the courtyard from Kito's.

He fully planned to continue his pursuit of Kagome. However, he planned to do so away from the watchful eyes of Kito and her neighbors. And, the less they knew about his association with her, the less they would suspect him when she disappeared. His pretense of a rejection would also serve to relax Kagome's guard, which would make it easier to carry out his plans for her. Smiling at his own craftiness, he left the complex.

\/\/\/\/

Kagome leaned against the door after closing and locking it. Her breaths escaped in quick gasps. Kagome's intuition was telling her that Numeru was dangerous, much more so than the normal pervert.

As she lifted herself away from the door, she noticed the arrested look on Hojo's face.

"Kagome, I haven't seen you wear color in ten years." Kagome could see him swallow before continuing, "You look beautiful." Hojo approached her to get a closer look.

In the wake of Hojo's bizarre declaration, Numeru and the threat in his glance was forgotten. "Toki-kun, I think something has addled your brain," Kagome pouted, "Have you taken a good look at me? I'm wearing a _Kito_ original." She stomped her foot to emphasize her irritation.

Hojo was stopped directly in front of her. He fingered the edge of her sleeve as he added, "Kagome, Kito was right about one thing. You should wear more color."

"Toki, the reason I wear white is because I don't want this type of attention from anyone else!" Realizing what she had just admitted, she continued in a more subdued tone, "I mean, I don't want this type of attention."

"Kagome," Hojo soothed. "I understand. Why don't you explain to me how you came to be wearing a Kito original?"

As Kagome related the events of her day to Hojo, she inwardly cringed as his cheek muscles began flexing in an angry tick. As she finished her explanation, she braced for the lecture she knew she deserved. She had let Kito manipulate her into a situation which they had agreed could compromise their safety. If Hojo had done the same, she would have been furious with him. However, the look in his eyes was anything but the angry glare she expected. His tender, concerned gaze mirrored the one he had bestowed upon her the night he had arrived back in her life, bringing with him buried memories and a friend from the past. Its resemblance to the golden-eyed gaze of Inuyasha was uncanny. The effect on Kagome was both jarring and comforting. The feeling was similar to the one she had experienced when she had visited her old elementary school after she had graduated from high school, the unexpected paradox of finding both the familiar and the alien in his gaze.

Hojo folded her in his arms. "Kagome, I'm furious, not at you, but at Kito and myself. I should have prevented this. Do you think that Numeru may cause problems for us?" he asked. Kagome rested her forehead against his chest and placed her hands against his abdomen. She would have preferred Inuyasha's blistering rebuke to Hojo's self-recrimination. His easy acceptance of the blame made her feel even guiltier.

"Maybe, I'm not sure how to describe it, but he was really creepy," Kagome replied. "I'm scared that he might show up at the complex again."

Hojo placed his hands on Kagome's upper arms, pushing her slightly away so that he could look directly into her eyes. "We'll have to tighten up our security until we are sure he's not a threat. From now on, we all travel together, visit neighbors together. No one leaves the apartment by themselves for any reason."

After she nodded her understanding, Hojo continued, "And, starting today, I'll be training you and Shippo in basic self-defense."

\/\/\/\/

A bath and a change of clothes later, Kagome was ready for her first self-defense lesson with Hojo. Kagome was surprised when Hojo asked her and Shippo to sit on the couch as he discussed crime prevention with them. She had expected to learn grappling techniques, but was instead learning how to avoid becoming a victim.

Thirty minutes later, Kagome's head was filled with rules and tips like "always lock the doors", "never answer the door if you are home by yourself", and "call me or the police if anything at all makes you uneasy".

After a short break, Hojo demonstrated evasive maneuvers. In the event that the Nihonshinsei found them, their best bet was to avoid a direct confrontation and escape. With that in mind, Hojo turned the family room into an obstacle course and made them practice zigzagging through the house. A few times, he even chased them to make it more exciting for Shippo.

After an exhausting day of training, Kagome and Shippo retired to bed early. Hojo chose to stay awake later and watch the local news. After the news aired, he turned off the television and considered their options. With the possibility of an additional threat to their safety, they were at a crossroads. They could relocate again, but that would be difficult on both Shippo and Kagome. He did not want to take them from one location to the next each time a complication arose. At the same time, if this threat was real, then it would be better to leave instead of risking everything by staying here. He had almost decided to relocate when he heard a soft whoosh coming from the doorway.

Hojo walked to the door and picked up an envelope that had been passed through the mail slot in the door. Seeing his rank and real name on the cover, he opened it to find a key and cryptic note, "Box 10, National Bank, 15th Street". Intrigued, he wondered who had delivered the package to him. All correspondence with his office was being handled through a secure internet link. Whoever left this for him was aware of his identity, but he would have to wait until tomorrow to find out if this note had originated from the his office. But he doubted that it had, they would have informed him before the drop.

Logging on to his computer, he checked his email and sent one to the Chief of Police informing him about the contents of the note. He doubted the originator of the note would try anything else tonight. If the person had meant to harm them, they would not have given up the element of surprise. Still, tonight he would be vigilant. This unknown person knew of their location, and he would be a fool to relax his guard until he had more information.

Determined to guard Shippo and Kagome from harm, he rechecked all the doors and windows, then set up a system of alarms at the most likely entrances. Afterwards, he chose a position inside Shippo and Kagome's room. He sat where he could see both the window and the door. Satisfied that he could adequately protect them from his position, he settled in for the night.

\/\/\/\/

Kagome awoke in the early morning hours before dawn to a frightening familiar sight, Hojo sitting guard over her and Shippo. She would have believed she was back in the Sengoku Jidai if not for the glow of electric lights that slipped beneath the door and the fact that Inuyasha's reincarnation was in the room instead of Inuyasha himself. The fact that Hojo had thought it necessary to spend the night in their room with them meant that he expected a possible attack. Crawling out from beneath the covers, she joined him on the floor.

"Toki-kun, what happened?"

Hojo showed Kagome the note and key. "I received this through the mail slot in our door after you and Shippo had gone to bed. I had not been notified to expect a package. So, until I hear otherwise, I am assuming that the person who sent this was not from my department. I think it would be best if we took extra precautions tonight. Tomorrow, after I hear from the Chief of Police, we can decide what action to take."

"Then I will join you." Kagome grabbed a pillow and extra blanket from the bed. After creating a make-shift futon on the floor between her and Hojo, she carried a groggy Shippo over and placed him on the futon. After giving him a reassuring hug, he fell back asleep as she rubbed circles on his back.

Then, together, Kagome and Hojo kept watch over Shippo as the dawn lightened the sky.

\/\/\/\/

Hojo and Kagome were both greatly relieved the next morning to receive a response to Hojo's email from his Chief. Their relief was quickly replaced by curiosity as they read the cryptic message. It read simply, "We have a new friend. Follow the instructions," with no indication of who sent it or what the contents of the safety deposit box contained.

Two hours later, after obtaining the contents from the safety deposit box, Hojo decided he liked their new friend, whoever they were. Their new friend had left them photos, contact information and names for The Butcher and The Shadow. With this information, they could make a quick arrest. The only thing left to do after that would be to wait until the trial. Once the two assassins had been convicted, Kagome, Shippo and he could return to Tokyo.

After forwarding the information to his Chief, he took a nap in his room as Kagome 'played Inuyasha' with Shippo in the living room. Shippo asked to reenact Inuyasha's battle with the Thunder Brother demons; only today he wanted to play the part of Inuyasha. As he fought the two brothers, he defeated first Hiten, then Manten. Afterwards, he asked Kagome if he had killed them off in the correct order. She was about to answer affirmatively when she realized that they had played this scene over so many times, she no longer remembered what the correct order was. The worst part was that this was not the first time she had failed to remember an event from the past.

Kagome was becoming more and more aware that the dire cost of not keeping a diary was paid in memories. While relating tales from her time in Sengoku Jidai was a welcome change from the no-talk policy she had followed at home, she was discovering that her recollection was not quite as crystal clear on the details of her adventures as she would have liked. When she had first started sharing her adventures with Shippo, she had been so excited by the novelty of both wanting and being able to share them, that she had not noticed the missing pieces. But as she continued to think about the past and communicate those thoughts to Shippo, she realized that portions of her time in Sengoku Jidai were missing or out of sequence with no hope of retrieving or unscrambling them. In fact, the more she worried the details over in her mind, the more elusive they became.

She remembered when she had first lost Inuyasha, her friends and family had encouraged her to talk about him, encouraging her to release her feelings. Now that she was following their advice, she felt like she was releasing _him_ instead of her tumultuous emotions. That somehow, by sharing him with others, she was diminishing her own portion. She felt like pieces of him were leaking out everywhere, and she wanted to bottle him up and keep him inside her forever. But no matter how hard she tried to hold him inside, he still spilled over the dam of her heart and slipped through the cracks of her fingers.

The time she spent with Hojo seemed to accelerate the effect. As she spoke with Hojo, he would hold his head at a certain angle or sit in a certain way, and she would think, _I remember Inuyasha used to do that._ However, right after that thought, another would follow. She would think _No, that's not quite right_, but she would be unable to remember the exact way Inuyasha would have done it himself. Those moments would always leave her feeling like everything was a little off. As if Hojo was kind of Inuyasha, but not really.

She wondered if Inuyasha had felt the same way, seeing pieces of Kikyo in her that were all just a little off, somewhat wrong, and definitely not Kikyo. She had always worried that Inuyasha had only thought of her as Kikyo's reincarnation. Now, she questioned whether he had taken any note of that fact at all. Even knowing that Hojo was Inuyasha's reincarnation, Kagome found it difficult to connect the two of them together. No matter how carefully she looked, she could not find Inuyasha in Hojo.

But, perhaps it was unfair to look in the first place. She had hated being treated as Kikyo's reincarnation. She was being hypocritical by treating Hojo the same way, even if he did not realize it himself. Kagome decided to make a new resolution. She would treat Hojo as Hojo. And, if she decided to date him, she would date him because of who he was now, not who he had been in his past life. Her resolution would be tested the next day.

\/\/\/\/

Knowing that the Nihonshinsei's search for Shippo would heat up once the two assassins were arrested, Hojo intensified their self-defense training. In addition to practicing evasive maneuvers, he taught them how to hide and how to get out of different body holds that an assailant might use. They discussed the best hiding places inside the house as well how to choose good hiding places if they were somewhere else when an attack occurred. Afterwards, Hojo demonstrated common holds and how to escape them.

Later that day, as Shippo napped in the bedroom, Kagome asked Hojo to help her practice. For one particular hold, Hojo placed a hand on her arm. After using a wrist lock to peel his hand off her arm, she tried to use her wrist lock to throw him down on the floor. Unfortunately, she lost her balance half-way through and ended up knocking herself down as well. Fortunately for her, she fell on top on Hojo instead of underneath him, her torso landing directly on top of his, their legs tangled in each others. Using her hands to push herself up, she angled herself so that she was looking down at Hojo's face instead of the carpet.

"Toki-kun, are you ok?!" Kagome asked, concern for him making her voice more strident than normal.

"Yes, you just knocked the wind out of me," he answered.

"Good, then I'll get off of you!"

As she started to shift, Hojo brought his arms around her and pulled her back down to his chest, "Kagome! Be careful! If you had moved your knee an inch higher, I swear you would have unmanned me."

Hojo's mention of his near unmanning brought to mind that he was a man, a man who at the moment was underneath her with his arms wrapped around her waist. In addition, Kagome was suddenly acutely aware of the proximity of their mouths. If he angled his head just a little, their lips would be touching. From the way Hojo was staring at her mouth, she believed he had just discovered the same thing. As his eyes lifted from her lips to her eyes, Kagome knew he had reached a decision – he was going to kiss her. As his head tilted and the moment approached, she decided she was going to let him.

\/\/\/\/

Another cliffhanger – the more I write, the more evil I become.

Next Chapter: Do they kiss? Who is their new mysterious friend? What's up with creepy Numeru? Will Kagome find Inuyasha in Hojo? All this and more.

Please review! I love reading your comments!


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